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FIRST IMPRESSIONS: What you don't know about how others see you

First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You

First Impressions: What you don’t know about how others see you by Ann Demarais and Valerie White, was published by Random House and translated into 24 languages and nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award. Here we explain the psychology of first impressions—and how people form an impression of you based on very little information—and the specific behaviors that make up the image you present to the world. We show you how to assess and tweak your own first impressions style.

See a description and reviews of the book below. The book includes a series of tables so you can assess yourself on a number of different first impressions behaviors, and the tables are also provided below for your convenience.

To assess your unique first impressions style, note whether you display each behavior usually, sometimes, or rarely. If you are reading our book, but don't want to write in the book, you can print out all the tables by clicking on the links provided. And if you haven't read the book, you can use the tables to identify your first impressions strengths, and things you could do even better.

Book Description

In our book, First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You (Bantam Books, 2004, translated into 24 languages), we show you what we show our clients: how to make the impression you desire. We explain the psychology of first impressions, how people form an impression of you based on very little information, and how the secret to making a positive first impression is to be other-oriented and to think about how you make others feel about themselves. Then we break down first impressions into the seven fundamentals: accessibility, showing interest, topics, self disclosure, conversational dynamics, perspective, and sex appeal. We show you how to assess your own first impressions style and make the changes you desire.

Book Reviews

"For anyone interested in winning friends and influencing people, this book is essential reading. If it had only been around ten years ago, my book might have taken a different title." —Toby Young, author of "How To Lose Friends & Alienate People"

"The feedback from one 'date' with First Impressions changed my life. This book will help you make new friends, get ahead in business and avoid the subtle little disasters that prevent us from being and doing our best." —Ted Rall, cartoonist, author of "Revenge of the Latchkey Kids" and "To Afghanistan and Back"

"The authors have charted the geography of the most important phase of interpersonal communication. Their guide will undoubtedly improve the quality of life for those seeking genuineness in their relationships." —Peter Urey, Marketing Director, Hewlett-Packard Company

"Don't break eye contact when reading First Impressions! You'll miss out on how a positive first impression can be the start of a great business or personal relationship. A compelling, engaging, and entertaining book that provides basic principles everyone can use to make that winning first impression." —Matthew Jones, SVP, Leadership and Management Development, Marsh Inc. [brokerage company]

"Have you ever felt alone in a room full of strangers who seem to know everyone except you? This book is full of examples of real-life experiences and post mortem diagnosis that, until now, was limited to those few fortunate enough to have been coached by one of these ladies. Although the book is about first impressions, I have found applications in teamwork, project launches, and my personal and family life. In reality, this book is less about first impressions and more about lasting impressions." —Sam Kim, R&D Project Manager, Hewlett-Packard Company

"This is a not a book for people looking for hope, it is a book for people looking for change. It will be a great help to those who too often feel less fulfilled by initial social interactions than they expect or hope. Without a shred of scientific evidence on the point, I would wager that this is just about everyone." —T. James Matthews, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, New York University

"First Impressions made a lasting impression on me! The insights about how and why people react to certain behaviors in initial meetings are terrific. I immediately understood what I do to create good and not-so-good first impressions, and the awareness has carried through to all my new business interactions. I can't wait to share this book with the people I manage and mentor. If you are new at dating, interviewing, or selling, First Impressions is a must-read." —Karen Steinberg, Chief Information Officer, Aon Risk Services [insurance company]

Evaluate your "First Impressions" style

Take your first impressions knowledge on a “test drive”: View and download this table and assess what you do when you meet someone new. At the end of the table, we'll tell you whether most people generally view those behaviors in a positive or negative way.

The following are tables from each of the first impressions “Fundamentals.” The first table outlines positive behaviors, and the second outlines some common miscommunications.

The Seven First Impressions Fundamentals

1. Accessibility
Positive Accessibility Behaviors (pg. 56)
Common Misconceptions (pg. 57)

2. Showing Interest
Positive Interest Behaviors (pg. 81)
Common Miscommunications (pg. 82)

3. The Subject Matter of First Communications
Positive Topic Behaviors (pg. 108)
Common Miscommunications (pg. 109)

4. Self Disclosure
Positive Self-Disclosure Behaviors (pg. 128)
Common Miscommunications (pg. 129)

5. Conversational Dynamics
Positive Conversational Dynamics Behaviors (pg. 145)
Common Miscommunications (pg. 146)

6. Perspective
Positive Perspective Behaviors (pg. 164)
Common Miscommunications (pg. 165)

7. The Subtleties of Sex Appeal
Positive Sex Appeal Behaviors (pg. 182)
Common Miscommunications (pg. 183)

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